Couples Therapy

Romantic relationships, whether between straight or same-sex couples, monogamous or those in consensually non-monogamous relationships all have one thing in common- the need for healthy, validating connection. Every healthy relationship has an equal exchange of energy without which, the imbalance damages the connection. 

Relationships can challenge our individual ideas, values, agendas and perspectives; they are an extension of our rich and varied histories.  The family dynamics in which we grew up, our attachment style, values, previous relationship experiences, insecurities, strengths, wants, needs and expectations influence everything that happens within a relationship. 

Every relationship will have its ups and downs which is not only influenced by who we are, but where we are in the process. 

What Stage Is Your Relationship In?

Every relationship has a developmental arc and each stage has its own challenges and strengths. Not sure what’s going on with your relationship? Reach out and we can chat about it.

Good, Better, Best: What It Takes

Regardless of what phase your relationship is in, there are some truths about what it takes to keep it good or make it better: 

  • Genuinely wanting to make improvements in the relationship and are willing to take action
  • Both partners bring transparency to conversations and share important information
  • You’re both willing to take some risks and try some new things

Couples therapy is different from relationship therapy. An individual can do relationship therapy to help improve their part of any relationship, whether it is with a romantic partner, coworker, friend or family member. Couples therapy takes two people committing to the process of making improvements.

It Doesn’t Always Take Two

There are some circumstances when it is best for romantic partners to undertake therapy separately:

  • Partners have very different individual therapy needs
  • Family violence has occurred or there are other safety concerns
  • One partner’s work or travel schedule doesn’t allow for joint meetings
  • One partner is unwilling to attend sessions

Individual relationship therapy can provide many benefits to both partners and enhance satisfaction and understanding about your relationship even when Couples Therapy isn’t possible.

Therapy Approaches

Because no two relationships are alike, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to Couples Therapy. We can use many different tools and lenses to view what’s happening in your relationship, build on the strengths and good stuff, and tweak the hard parts.

You and your partner can expect our work to reflect a variety of approaches including principles from:

  • The Gottman Institute 
  • Attachment Theory and Emotionally Focused Therapy 
  • Interpersonal neurobiology
  • Emily Nagasaki, PhD’s work in sexual health 

In addition to getting to know you and your partner through talking, I offer couples the opportunity to complete the Gottman Relationship Check Up, providing a deep dive analysis into the dynamics that are helping or hindering your relationship.

Whether you and your partner want to build a new foundation together or work through an old conflict, moving your relationship forward is the goal.

You can click here to book a 15 minute video call and I’ll send a follow up email with details.